It's 12.30am now.
T is sleeping and I am here with my thoughts.
Lately, I've been feeling lonely of some sort. I'm a Singaporean stay-at-home mum living in Melbourne. I love the life here, but feel a bit lonely with none of my friends from back home around with me. Then again, what friends? Most have drifted apart since we migrated about 5 years ago. Some, well, somehow, just faded away cuz I was going through my dark days with infertility. They couldn't deal with my rollercoaster emotions. I have made friends here. I meet them weekly for playdates. But somehow, sometimes, I'd like to speak a bit of Singlish or joke something that only Singaporeans will understand.
I am also an infertile mum. I think the way I teach, love, and mother my child is rooted from the experiences that I have gone through with my life. He is so precious in my life. It took us 3.5 years of sex, me opening my legs to strangers to have me tested, operated on to get the damned endometriosis, fibroids, ovarian cysts, polyps removed, husband getting his sperm tested 3 times and the anguish and tears,, frustration to have him. He is my gift, my miracle from God. I know I'm not holy as much as my Catholic grandmother would have wanted me to, but I believe that he is here for a reason.
And somehow, it's hard for me to understand some fertile mums. Especially those who say that their kids are annoying, or when they say, I can't stand them!. Sure, granted, I've had my bad days with T. But he will never be annoying to me. He can be difficult, challenging. But when he runs to give me a hug, gives me his precious kisses, nose cuddles, my heart goes boom boom boom.
I am also currently (just started) homeschooling T. I've realised how challenging, rewarding, fun, exhausting it can be..and sometimes frustrating. I bring T out for his morning activities every day so that he gets to run around and most importantly, socialise with other kids. He comes home for a nap, wakes up to have lunch and we do a bit of Montessori stuff and we head to the park for a run, or a kick with the ball. It's summer now for us so it's easier to go out.
And somehow, it's hard for me to find someone here who shares a passion about homeschooling a child. The only way I find out what other mums are doing is through reading blogs.
Maybe i'm just broody today.
But yes, today, am feeling lonely.
Tomorrow, it will be better.
And Sunday, it will be even better.
We're headed off to the beach. :)
Sun + sand + hunky husband + adorable son + loads of laughter = a good day.
I think it must be tough being a SAHM in a "foreign" land, especially if you're homeschooling... I think you're doing great, seeing how you are able to balance everything. I won't say I know how you feel right now, but we'll be going overseas for a year for hubby's work, and I must admit being alone with the kid, with friends and family back home scares me alot! Hang in there, and I hope the weekend was great! :)
ReplyDeleteOh babes! You're doing a great job! Lonely or not, as long as you enjoy the process, you see fruits of your 'labour'- who cares! At the end, everyone will see your kid shine and they'll know that they were wrong before. Time will tell, you'll see! Just keep on doing what you know is best for T! :)
ReplyDeleteHello hello! Hope you had a better week? Anyway, with regards to your question on the duck soup, just remove the skin and any underlying fat before cooking the duck and it shouldn't be too oily. Happy cooking! :)
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